Loofa

Hi y’all. Long time no blog. Haven’t had the wiffy or, frankly, the will to blog.

wiffy 2

That’s Nick Miller speak for WiFi, of course, but I will never ever again pronounce it any way but wiffy. So let it be written, so let it be done. Uh oh, did I just quote sexy Pharaoh Rameses II as played by sexy Yul Brynner in Cecil B. DeMille’s decidedly unsexy The Ten Commandments? I feel a sexy Pharoah pic coming on…

hot yul

Yowza.

Enough of this idle chit-chit. On with the blog!

So this week I’m reviewing the best book in the world for when you are an unemployed punk-ass book jockey, struggling with a hellish bout of writer’s block and a dearth of potential Captain Wentworths, and just need some god-damned cheering up.

Oh, yes. It’s Luther time.

Wait, you haven’t heard of Luther? (If you have, fist bump and move along.) Luther is a British TV series starring Idris Elba, Sex God extraordinaire. The show follows Detective Chief Inspector John Luther as he attempts to battle crime in London while dealing with his own personal demons.

Yes. I mean, hell yes. Am I right, or am I right?

So it’s a TV show. But Robyn, I hear you say, isn’t this a book blog? Why yes, dear reader, it is a book blog.

One day not too long ago, I was trudging through my local Loblaws, or Superstore, or whatever the hell they’re calling it now, wandering the book aisle like every self-respecting book addict does, even if the groccery store has no business selling books. Imagine my surprise when I spotted, lurking among the poorly written smut and mass-market movie tie-in editions, a book entitled Luther: The Calling. For a moment, I didn’t make the connection between this book and my beloved TV series. And then I recognized the author, Neil Cross, as the writer – the sole writer, I should add – of Luther. Imagine my surprise upon realizing that a book existed, unbeknownst to me all this time, following Luther’s exploits before the events of the TV series. Actually, you don’t have to imagine my surprise, I’ll just describe it for you. No, I’ll show you:

troy

That is exactly how it was.

So this week, it’s Luther: The Calling by Neil Cross.

Neil-Cross-Luther

Here’s what happens. Luther does what Luther does best. He KICKS ASS.

That is all.

But on a more serious note – actually, no, that’s really all there is to it. There is a bad guy/girl/crew. Luther has to figure out who that bad guy/girl/crew is, and then catch him/her/them. And it is so very very wonderful to be along for the ride.

Verdict: If you like the TV series, you’ll like the book, not only because it gives you more Luther while you’re waiting for season 3 to start, but also because the book allows you to get inside Luther’s head and share his perspective in a way that the medium of television never can. If you haven’t seen the TV series, you might want to put off reading the book, because much of the appeal does come from a love of the phenomenal writing and superlative acting of the show. And if you don’t like the TV series, then you need psychological help and should immediately contact a shrink or an unemployed librarian with an awe-inspiring DVD collection.

Best line(s): “John Luther, a big man with a big walk, crosses the hospital car park…” (p. 1)

-and-

“Luther stands sentinel. His heart is a furnace.” (Dunno what page. I scrawled this line in purple ink in the front of my pink diary and dotted all the i’s with hearts and then wrote Robyn + Luther = LUV4EVER and Mrs. John Luther and… wait, forget you read that.)

Rating: 4 out of 5 Stringer Bells. Oh, Luther. You can string my bell any day.

And now, because Book Cat is busy rocking out to ACDC (you don’t want to know), here are some gratuitous glamour shots of John Luther – er, I mean, Idris Elba.

Idris thinking something naughty.

Idris thinking something naughty.

Serious Idris

Serious Idris

 

I knew my soul mate would love ice cream as much as I do.

I knew my soul mate would love ice cream as much as I do.

Material wealth is fleeting and without meaning.

Material wealth is fleeting and without meaning…

 

But there's always time for silly hats!

But there’s always time for silly hats!

So tall...

So tall…

 

And he knows that red is the colour of passion and lurve.

And he knows that red is the colour of passion and lurve.

I would help you cancel the apocalypse, Idris.

I would help you cancel the apocalypse, Idris.

And, as if that wasn’t enough, there’s this:

By the Hammer of Thor, this man is a god.

By the Hammer of Thor, this man is a god.

Swoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.

“Well,” the unemployed librarian says, dusting her palms off in the universal cartoon gesture of a job well done, “another productive day in the blogosphere.”